I think I live in a society that actually constitutes a finely honed machine for detecting our every urge, whether it be for acquisition or for rebellion, for productivity or idleness, and instantly selling back to us its own sanitised version. "What did you do during the war, when capitalism was stealing our dreams and sterilising them for profit?" Oh, I wrote a strongly worded yet ultimately impotent blog post.

I have a great idea for a new game-show. We get a bunch of stupid yet blameless people and we stick them in a box. Then we poke them with sticks until they start crying. "That's barbaric," you say. "Nobody will watch that." Ah, but that's the clever part. We make it so kitsch that everyone will get to tell themselves they're watching ironically.